Displays of Affection are Like Appetizers

As I said last time, I don’t see affection as adolescent behavior. One of the problems with hurrying to have sex is that couples rush over or skip some wonderful preliminaries, such as kissing, fondling, and touching. How foolish this is! It’s like skipping the fabulous cocktail party in a dash to get to dinner. Only in the case of sex, we can enjoy both the appetizers and the entrée without worrying about excess calories!

The quality of experiences one can have both when dining and when engaging in sexual activity is quite broad. Settling for superficial sex rather than waiting for sane sex is like continually going through the drive-through when you could be having a five-course dinner. Because sex is such a primary need, one may be tempted to settle for what comes easily and quickly.

Thankfully, however, an alternative is available. Consider that sexual expression and enjoyment are not an all or nothing process but rather encompass a range of possibilities. Have you seen the scene in The Age of Innocence, with Michelle Pfeiffer and Daniel Day Lewis in the carriage, where he does nothing more than remove her glove? It is an incredibly sensual scene, garnering Martin Scorsese acclaim for his eroticism.

Or how about using the Kama Sutra, an ancient Indian text written in the fourth century by Vatsyayana, as a guide? The Kama Sutra is still well known and used today by many couples and sex therapists (Western and Buddhists alike). The book includes kissing, embracing, bathing, massage, and foreplay, as well as what it is best known for: various positions for sexual intercourse. It explores this full array of sexual expression because all these expressions are considered a part of the gratifying experience, just as fine dining incorporates several courses of food.

I heartily endorse giving up the drive-through habit, when it comes to both food and sex. Let’s take the time to enjoy every sensual experience life has to offer us!