Keeping Agreements

Many authors and teachers advise us to be mindful of the agreements we make with other people so that we can be sure to keep them.  Certainly this is sound advice for anyone seeking a long term loving relationship with a partner.  Have you ever thought about the agreements you’ve made with yourself? 

When I was dating, I found it helpful to list the agreements I had with myself, so that I could stay on track and be true to myself.  When it gets lonely and discouraging (being single isn’t always the blast it’s portrayed to be, have you noticed?), we may be tempted to compromise, only to regret it later.  Below are some of the agreements I had.  Hopefully they’ll get you thinking about your own list.  I agreed:

-          To remember that the reason I desired closeness and love is because God desired them for me first, so their manifestation was guaranteed if I believed.

-          To honor myself and not settle, as I had in the past.

-          To be honest with myself and not talk myself into a relationship or into feeling attracted to someone I just wasn’t attracted to.

-          To be confident and patient and not act from desperation, because I was not desperate.

-          To have only sane sex.

-          To remember that I could be both a good mother and in relationship with a man, thereby avoiding the martyr role or sacrificing my needs for my daughters.

I invite you to write down your own agreements and use the list as a checklist when you come to a choice point.  It’ll be a helpful tool to sort out your feelings, enabling you to make the best decision.