Is the Wait Long? – Part Two

How long does it take to establish the emotional intimacy needed for sane sex?  As I stated last time, it does not have to be long.  When Roger and I met, we’d both done our inner work.  We spent time together that allowed us to talk and really get to know each other.  Neither of us was into game playing, and we both wanted a long term, committed relationship.  He still says that he knew from the day we met that we were meant to be together.  It took me a little bit longer, about a month.  Keep in mind that I’d been dating for a year and a half and had done lots of reflecting, praying, exploring, dating, learning, and finally letting go in that time.

Once you know yourself and what you’re looking for in a relationship, it becomes a matter of finding an appropriate partner to be close to, someone who has the same level of self-awareness that you’ve developed.  Here’s where you’ll need to be aware and listen carefully.  There are signs when someone is emotionally unavailable or unhealthy.  Hopefully your self-exploration revealed any weaknesses or blind spots you’ve fallen prey to in the past, so you can avoid them now.  If your dating experience is similar to mine, you’ll start down the road many times until you find the right one.  We simply cannot force emotional intimacy to happen.

If it’s been a long time since you’ve been in a loving relationship, the inclination to rush this process can be intense.  I urge you to keep the end in mind, as Steven Covey recommends.  It will be worth the time you invest!