Do Single People Have a Fear of Commitment?

On June 22, 2010, the USA Today reported that young adults today are delaying marriage much longer than their parents and grandparents did. While Lyndon Johnson and Lady Bird met in August of 1934 and married that same November, Prince William and Kate Middleton have been a couple for nine years and their engagement is still just speculation. This delay has resulted in an older age for first time marriages: men are now an average of 28 years old and women almost 26. It was five years younger for their grandparents’ generation.

It goes beyond marriage, though. According to psychotherapist Shannon Fox, “This is the generation that won’t commit to going to a party on Saturday because something better might come along – someone better might come along.” I concur with that statement, and I would say it extends beyond young adults. When I was dating just a few years ago, I quickly learned not to ask a man about plans for Saturday on Tuesday – and even Wednesday was chancing it. It seems to be a characteristic of single people, not just young adults.

What is this about, this need to stay open and uncommitted? What opportunity might appear after committing to an event that couldn’t be experienced another day? I wonder if those who resist committing realize what they miss out on when they let invitations pass them by. I remember men who resisted taking our relationship to an exclusive level so they could be free to sleep with other women who came along, only to find no one did and they were alone.

If you’re experiencing what I did, take heart! I did eventually find men who were interested in an exclusive relationship with me. In fact, I had two men I’d dated previously and broke it off with call me after I’d been with Roger a few months. They were checking to see if I was still in a relationship. Whatever you do, please don’t compromise your standards, thinking that’s the way it’s done today. It doesn’t have to be. It’s your life; you call the shots.