Why Didn’t He Call Again?

Last week I reminded readers how important it is to know their worth.  I admit that may be hard to do when he doesn’t call for the second (or third) date.  (I’m using “he” here because most of the time it’s women complaining that the men don’t call, even when they said they would.)  As I said last time, it could be that sex was what he wanted, and since you wanted something more, he moved on.  However, there is another possibility that’s quite likely.

Our first thought is to reason that he didn’t think we were worth the effort.  Even the most confident woman could begin to doubt herself after a few experiences like this - and I’ve seen these occurrences come in strings!  I urge my clients to be careful here, as the reality could very well be the opposite.  Consider author Don Miguel Ruiz’s sage observation from The Four Agreements, “Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves.”  It may well be that he didn’t call because he didn’t think you’d find him worth it in the end.  It wasn’t that you weren’t worth his effort, but rather that he wasn’t up to risking failure.  Many people would just as soon not play the game than risk losing.

Your reducing supply (by waiting for emotional intimacy to develop before becoming physically intimate) really does raise your perceived value, and some people may not feel worthy of you!