Do Your Inner Work

   Years ago I ran an outplacement center for a manufacturing plant that was closing.  Most of the people employed by the company had never worked anywhere else.  They needed lots of help with resume writing and interviewing, which I expected.  What amazed me, though, was how little these folks knew about themselves.  When I asked them to list their strengths and positive qualities, they were dumbfounded.  I tried asking them how a friend would describe them, but got no better response.

   Having gone through my dating experience, I’ve come to conclude that these individuals were not the exception.  Many people, maybe most, have not done their inner work.  They have no sense of their true worth or what makes them a blessing to the world.  Without a strong sense of self, they’re discouraged and left feeling inadequate as the media confronts them daily with dozens of images of perfection.  No one can live up to the retouched photos and other unrealistic examples of “the norm” which surround us.

   If a meaningful relationship is what you seek, it’s essential not only that you do your inner work, but also that the other person has done theirs.  If they don’t know their worth, their modus operandi may be to have sex right away, before you discover who they really are.  They’re masters at making the good first impression. They’ve got the superficial down pat, but dig deeper, and they’re afraid you’ll find there’s not much there.  I believe there’s a lot there, but if they don’t know it, they can’t show it.

   This scenario is just one of the reasons I named my book “Worth Waiting For.”  Avoid getting physically intimate too quickly.  You and a fulfilling relationship are worth the wait!