Are People Having Insane Sex?

I recently had an interviewer ask me if I thought people were having insane sex, since the title of my book is Sane Sex for Singles. In a sense, I think many are. With most superficial sex, people engage in the most physically intimate behavior they can with someone they barely know. They are not intimate with them in any other sense - intellectually, emotionally, spiritually or financially - yet they intimately share their most precious possession with this person. Doesn’t that seem a little crazy to you?

Why do some people treat their bodies so casually? Why do people smoke? Why do they ignore the many signals their bodies send, such as stop eating, get moving, rest, get some sleep, or don’t drink any more? How is it that people disregard their physician’s advice to lose weight, eat differently, exercise, take their prescribed medicine, quit smoking, or get their routine screening exams?

I think it’s because so many of us take our bodies for granted. We’ve always had them and literally cannot imagine life without them. Our bodies do so much on their own to maintain functional health that it appears we don’t need to make any effort. Our bodies really are amazing. Despite our minimal attention, they continue to function with few signs of distress.

One of the definitions of “insane” is “showing a complete lack of reason or foresight.” When I consider the high price people pay when having superficial sex, it can fit the definition of insane. Often times superficial sex is also unsafe, putting both parties at risk for incurable, life-long STDs, even HIV. Even if it is safe, the emotional risks are very high. As human beings, we are systems, a combination of related parts organized into a complex whole. In other words, one aspect of us, such as physical/sexual, effects every other aspect of us, such as emotional or spiritual. So when the various elements are out of alignment, the imbalance manifests in unpleasant ways. Being physically intimate with someone we are not intimate with in other way represents such an imbalance. Since this result is completely avoidable, I think it’s a bit insane – and sad.