Do an Attitude Check

In October I was asked to be a guest author at a networking event for singles. Barbara Kennedy, author of Baby Boomer Men Looking for Love, and I engaged the singles in a discussion about dating, sex, and the expectations of Baby Boomer men and women. Although I have lots of singles mixer experience, I was taken aback by the conversations that I had with individuals before the discussion and by the group’s responses to Barbara and me.

Before the mixer, I worked the room, approaching groups of men and groups of women – yes, many of them were segregated just like my junior high dances. When I encouraged them, particularly the men, to mingle and approach the other singles, they resisted, saying that there was no one there they wanted to meet. Of course I challenged them on this. How could they tell from across the room that someone was not even worth conversing with? I reminded them that single people know other singles, and maybe networking as a single would be as beneficial for them as it is for business professionals. For the most part, I was not successful. Other than having a couple of them hit on me, I got little response from them. The “oh poor me, here we go again” attitude was prevalent that evening.

I realized that I’d forgotten how negative singles can be. It’s ironic that I’ve forgotten, because the discouragement and apathy I encountered were a large part of my motivation to write my book in the first place. Dating can be so disappointing for people, especially when they allow themselves to be too influenced by the media. Are you letting your past dating experiences to dictate your future ones? My friend, Lynn, used to always tell me it was a numbers game, and I think she’s right. There are wonderful people out there, possibly right in front of you, but you must be open to seeing them. At first glance, Roger was not the man I expected to show up, but he turned out to exceed every expectation I’d had about who the love of my life would be.

Do an attitude check and consciously put all those past negative experiences in the past. Stay centered in today and expect someone terrific to come your way.