More Ways to Demonstrate Trustworthiness

Last time we explored understanding the other person, clarifying our expectations, and keeping commitments as ways to be trustworthy. Let’s finish looking at trustworthiness by considering Covey’s other three practices to strengthen relationships and enhance trust.

Covey’s fourth action is pay attention to the little things. In this case, we may want to stay alert and go out of our way for our partner, noticing what he or she likes and putting the other person’s needs and/or preferences ahead of our own. It might be as simple as knowing how she takes her coffee or that watching Monday night football is a ritual he enjoys. There are several ways we could practice Covey’s fifth action, demonstrate personal integrity. These include being honest, but sensitive, even when the other person may not like what we have to say; honoring any confidences that have been shared; and being gracious when our partner makes a mistake or admits a fault. One way to test your motives in this area is to ask yourself if your words and actions will build up the relationship. Remember that the objective is to be close, not to be right. Finally, when we acknowledge our mistakes first, without waiting to be confronted, and are sincere in expressing our regret, we demonstrate the final action, apologize when you make a mistake. A sincere apology is a simple, yet powerful tool for strengthening relationships!

Our ultimate goal with all of these actions is to create an environment of safety and trust. These are critical components for the final step in achieving emotional intimacy: becoming more intimate. Join me next time as we address the effective use of self-disclosure.