Working the Room at a Singles Event

Singles events, such as mixers, hikes, and parties, are a great, low risk way to meet other singles interested in dating. On Saturday, February 4 I’ll be speaking at the semi-annual Calculated Couples Singles Fair at the Doubletree Resort in Scottsdale, AZ, so I thought this would an appropriate time to cover the basics of working the room.

When you’re just getting started, you may want to go to singles events with a friend. This usually works out fine, as long as you remember that you’re going there to meet new people, not to hang around with the person you came with. If you go with other people, make an arrangement to separate. Once you have been to a few events, you’ll find that going alone can be quite fun, even if you’re a woman. Being by yourself forces you to interact with others, and it invites others to approach you. It also enables you to stay as long as you’d like.

Avoid sitting at a large table with five or more people, particularly at a dance. No one wants to be turned down in front of a crowd of people, so make it easy for people to approach you. It’s often successful to begin by seeking one or two people of the same gender to stand or sit with. Rather than getting involved in a deep conversation, keep it to small talk – and be positive. No one will be drawn to a negative conversation. Sit or stand so you face and observe the room, and be interested in your surroundings. Make it possible for people to come up to you and break into your conversation. If you see someone alone who looks approachable (or needs someone to talk to), this is your opportunity to approach him or her.

Finally, a great ice-breaker I’ve found for conversation is asking the other person if he’s attended other events the group has put on and what they were like. This can lead to information on how long he’s been dating, how much dating he does, and so forth. People love to be asked for their opinion, so this is usually a comfortable way to get the conversation started. For more tips on conversations, join me next week.