Handling First Dates - Part Two

So you’re comfortable with where you’re going on your first date.  Now what?

·       Drive yourself so you can leave when you want.

·       Tell a friend where and when you’re going.

·       Avoid going straight from work.  Allow yourself time to shift out of work or family mode and into a social, ready for fun frame of mind.

·       If you’re shy or conversation is hard for you, have some topics in mind ahead of time.

·       Try to relax (breathe!) and be yourself.  Don’t worry about trying to flirt, be funny, or be something you’re not.  Focus on getting to know the other person, rather than on the impression you’re making.

·       Consider how much information you’ll share on the first date.  Remember the phrase, “I really couldn’t say” for any topic you don’t want to discuss.  Say it slowly, as if with a great deal of thought.  It will suggest you don’t know the answer when really you don’t want to talk about it.  (I reserve this approach for situations where someone is moving too fast or even being inappropriate, such as the time a man I’d just met asked me when the last time I’d had sex was!)

The most important advice I can give you is not to put too much emphasis on the first date.  My best job interviews are when I really don’t care if I get the job or not.  I can relax and just be myself, knowing that if it’s meant to be, it will be.  First dates are the same way.  Just see it as a fun chance to get to know someone new, and odds are you’ll have a good time.