Watch Out for Relationship Traps

What is a relationship trap? It’s a relationship you stay in despite the warning signs. It’s one where you know (or eventually figure out) that he or she is not for you. Some of the typical warning signs include: his working excessive overtime or spending too much time at the office, her being vague about where she’s been or will be, his or her dependence on alcohol or drugs, his asking you for money, her lack of boundaries with her family, his siding the with guys over you, her blaming everyone but herself for her problems, and his being threatened by your other relationships.

People who fall into relationship traps frequently acknowledge afterward that there were warning signs, but they overlooked them. We do this for many reasons. We may want to be in a relationship so badly, we refuse to see the signs that this one is not working. We may be enamored with some aspect of the other person, such as how we feel in his presence or the way she praises us. The individual may have something we feel we need, such as a large bank account or stable family. It might simply be because it’s easier than starting over.

If you’ve find yourself relating to these scenarios, I highly recommend Marilyn Frazer’s book, The Relationship Trap. In it she tells the story of fourteen women who ignored the signs that he wasn’t right for her. It’s a great resource for someone who is inexperienced, hasn’t dated in years, or has been caught in more than one relationship trap. I wholeheartedly agree with Marilyn’s advice: go in with your eyes open and trust your intuition.