Friday, September 30, 2011

How Well Do You Know Yourself?

As you may know, the sane sex model begins with attraction typically, and only after emotional intimacy is reached does physical intimacy occur. For most people, the attraction part is pretty easy. It’s the emotional intimacy part that’s the rub. Just how does one become emotionally intimate with another?

Emotional intimacy requires sharing ourselves honestly at a deep level. The first step to achieving emotional intimacy with someone is to know yourself and to be comfortable with that sense of self. Concerns about how much or what to share or when to let your guard down are issues to address down the road. We need to begin internally first, with our own inner work. When we don’t take the time for reflection or when we don’t want to face what’s going on with us, it’s impossible to be honest or deep with another person. We may be projecting what we think the world expects, needs, or wants us to be. We may think certain motives are behind our behavior, when in reality it’s fear that underlies our actions.

Our attention is pulled in dozens of directions at a time in the form of advertisements, technology, and the media. We are so wired today that we’re unlikely to find the time to be still and connect with ourselves. We need to make the time. Whether you are seeking that special relationship or want to deepen one you have, I encourage you to spend time not by yourself, but with yourself every day. This time invested will ultimately enable you to achieve emotional intimacy more quickly and easily with the right person.

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